michelle

last term of studying

2008-07-02T03:16:00.002+08:00

its alrdy the 2nd week after sch reopens.. in another 1mth n 10days would be the start of all the exams.. damn sianz.. cuz it oso means that i hafta work reali hard alrdy.. tis few days super stress.. mayb cuz my schedule is damn packed tis week.. tmr got attachment breifing in sch.. thurs got work.. fri nid to work on my next week presentation.. sat work.. sun got wedding to attend.. dun knoe hw to manage my time.. but i will do my best.. been livin well with my the other half.. every fri n sat got his hse stay over.. to spend some quality time together.. not juz a dinner plus a episode of drama den rush hme.. but it oso means that some times.. i have no time to do my assigments.. but well.. there's always some sacrifice in a relationship.. i juz hafta work harder on the rest of the days lo.. =P k nah.. juz here i stop.. gotta go to bed.. wake up early for tmr lecture.. wish me luck...=D

exams

2008-05-28T18:57:00.002+08:00

exams is here again.. next week.....mon thue wed and fri..... 4core modules... juz started studyin today.. damn stress.. i seems to dun knoe anything about all the modules.. so wat even if i knoe.. im so afraid thati'll fail.. i dun wanto spent more time in studyin.. i juz wanto get my diploma and get over with it.. to further study??? or to work?? i dun knoe.. most prob is to work ferst.. den to decide whether i wanto further my studies or not.. bee.. i hope that u will understand this few days til next week i wouldnt have much time for u.. i'll be buryin myself in books.. dun sianz or wat k.. i dun knoe what im doin in sch.. i onli knoe of the common test time table ytd.. wat m i doin in sch???? wat the f***??!?!?!?!? im a loser`~~

everythings' wrong

2008-05-15T01:11:00.002+08:00

everythings seems to be wrong this few days.. thinking about alot of things.. but nothing at all.. i dun knoe wat i wan.. and i dun knoe wat im short of.. i longed for the days in the past.. no worries no nothing.. wher im so care free and everything seems to goes well.. i miss all my frenz.. frm secondary sch to shangri-la to obriens to florist......... i miss my poly cheerful life.. i dun enjoy wat im doin nw.. every day is lyk a routine.. something that i hate.. i dun knoe how to walk bac to that.. nw im lookin forward to graduation.. it may be a new start for me.. a new beginning.. i dun knoe.. i feel so so so lonely when i have so many ppl around me.. y do i think so?? been workin with dior for around 2mths.. and sch reopen for 5weeks.. so many things to do yet so little time.. i begin to realise recently that i totally jave no time for myself......... i need a real good rest.. conclusion= i miss my friends.. all of them.. those that stil tok.. those that dun tok.. all of them.......i hate myself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

exams finishes

2008-02-23T02:22:00.002+08:00

i dun knoe how i should be feeling nw as im blogging.. i feel that i have everything.. but on the other hand.. i feel that i have nothing.. i dun knoe how i will feel that way.. he says in his blog that he is havin a relationship that he wans it to last..but he is thinkin bout things that makes him doubt it.. although i dun reali understands wat he is tryin to say.. but i feel that he is not happy.. am i e cause for all this?? i dun knoe.. at least to me.. im e person that causes all this negative thinkin that he is havin.. ferstly, im not supportive enough. 2ndly, my temper is no gd.. 3rdly, im not a gd listener at times.. mayb thats y.. i cant tahan ppl nag.. him too canot tahan ppl nags.. but sometimes i will nag at him n he will nag at me.. i dun knoe y tis is happening.. mayb due to concern? care? sometimes i knoe that he is thinkin bout things.. not feeling gd about things.. but its juz that when i asked him.. he will tel me nothing.. hard to voice out? yes i myself admits this.. but is it juz bcuz its hard to say out how u r feeling or thinkin fearing of making the other party angry/sianz den u juz keep it to urself? makin urself thinkin more n more?? i dun knoe..cuz to me.. after awhile..den i will voice out wat i actually m thinkin about before.. i will wanto clear the air.. cuz i knoe that the one closes to u will always knoe that u'r not in gd mood whenever u feel down.. and if they dun get a answer that is satisfiable.. den they knoe that theres something wrong.. but their partner will still denies.. y?? y is tis so?? is it so hard to actually tel ur love ones even aft it passes? i dun knoe.. currently.. i stil haf no ans for all tis qns.. im drivin myself crazy.. P.S. bee.. i knoe that i haven been a gd partner.. pardon me my mistakes and let me knoe alrite?? i'll try my best to change.. (criticism makes perfect) I Love You.. Reali I Do..

back again

2008-01-11T03:01:00.000+08:00

im here again.. sch started for 2wks alrdy.. stil slackin my way through.. but ytd which is thurs.. i didnt slp throughout the day.. i even make notes on DEC..dun knoe y.. i knoe i gotta start workin hard to prove myself.. is it too late for me? i dun knoe.. anyway.. the attachment thingie out alrdy.. im in M&E..honestly speaking.. i dun knoe wats tat at all.. but does it matters?? it isnt me who choose the company oso.. tis few days..dun knoe startin frm wed or thurs.. been feelin down..dun knoe y.. feelin lost..as if im drowning.. being pulled down by so many things.. i cant breath.. i cant find my way out.. its pitch dark..so dark that i cant even see anything..nothing.. so quiet that i can even hear a needle drop.. no one to guide..no one to listen.. i dun knoe who to turn to.. family problems..friends..school... r there anymore problems to come?? im sick n tired of everything.. i feel lyk a balloon.. u keep blowing n blowing.. im about to burst.. no one there for me to let out my air.. no one..the one closes to me ask me not to think so much.. i oso dun wanto..but i cant choose.. the thoughts keep coming.. i doesnt wanto make my life so difficult.. i reali wanto live a happi life.. reali.. i tend to blog alot and throw everything into my blog everytime i feel depress.. everytime i feel down.. i wouldnt tel anyone everything.. i would tel one some..the other some..... mayb its lesson learnt? except for him.. i dun knoe who to trust anymore.. n i knoe that he's busy with his army life.. busy with his own problem.. who can i trust? who can i go to with all this problems?? i feel that im alone.. facing all this alone.. theres no one alongside with me.. no one there for me.. i knoe he cares.. but he's not here for 5days a wk.. wat should i do?? i reali dun knoe.. lets hope everything would be fine.. insha allah... P.S. i dun wanto drown..

finally

2007-12-23T03:17:00.000+08:00

finally free to update my blog again aft so long.. =P been lookin for a job ever since.. but to no avail.. talkin a step at a time nw.. lets hope everything would be fine for me.. =) alrdy started on my religious classes.. =) learning more about his religion.. holiday till next yr.. but haven got a job.. and half of e holiday is gone.. hafta work harder to look for a job..=) everythings been well with my dear.. there's time tat we enjoy.. time tat we quarrel.. time tat we laugh.. time tat we cry.. its not easy to maintain a relationship.. but i'll give my very best.. cuz i knoe tat he is e one.. the one tat i've been lookin for.. the one tat i've been waiting for all my life.. i dun knoe y im so sure.. but my feelin tells me tat.. =) im missin him so badly.. eventhough i could see him tmr night.. he's sick again.. not taking enough care of himselves.. but tats y he needs me..=P its been 3mths plus since we're together.. been through alot of things.. i've learn to compromise.. to be more considerate.. to be more understandin.. its all wat he've taught me.. thanks darlink.. for letting me knoe all tis.. u're e best tat i've ever know.. last but not least.. i love u my dear.. _160907_ our day

aft 3weeks of school

2007-10-31T00:31:00.000+08:00

school reopen for 3wks alrdy.. haven been slpin tat much in class.. (happy!!!) this sem e core modules stil okie.. can manage.. mayb cuz juz started ba.. but school routine super sianz.. cuz everytime is go school.. break time go eat.. den go library slp.. aft tat go class again.. damn sianz.. but no choice la.. cuz class nw oso not tat united alrdy.. hafta get use to it i think.. things have been awkward between me n y.c.. but i cant seems to do anything.. anyway..leave it ba.. cuz thinkin too much oso cant help.. might as well live my life to the fullest.. been great with baby.. quarrel alot on sunday.. but learnt alot oso.. cuz quarrel makes us understands each other more.. nv do i have tis kinda feelings before.. im a person who is veri easily jealous.. but i told myself tat i should trust him.. nw im feelin better with it alrdy.. cuz he proved me right.. =) time nv seems enough whenever im with him.. ppl who sees tis mayb think tat tis is mushy/sweet talks.... but those in a relationship oso knows tat tis is true..=) oh ya.. i hafta say to all of OUR friends.. so sorry tat me n him haven been spendin much time with u guys.. cuz he doesnt have much time out.. n so we cant spend much time together other den weekends.. sorry for alwaz neglecting u all.. FORGIVENESS PLEASE!!!!! =D me n judi have been closer alrdy.. not lyk last few sems.. mayb cuz know each other longer le ba.. cuz im actually scare of trusting ppl with my personal things.. been stabbed too many times.. sorry girl.. if im too.. "on the surface" kinda things..its cuz i dun knoe how to place how i feel into words.. i knoe u would see tis soon.. and i wanna let u knoe tat friendship between u n me is cherished.. =D last but not least.. i wanna let tat special person sees tis.. I LOVE U MY DARLINK!!!! words alone isnt enough to let me describe how greatful i m to have u in my life.. i know u understands.. =D nitez readerss.. im a happy woman~~=D

yipee!!!

2007-10-11T14:44:00.001+08:00

been together with him for almost a month.. =D have been veri happy.. didnt expect things to turn out so well between me n him.. he reali dotes on me..=) understandin enough and everything.. well well.. i was workin on tues.. he got nights out.. den he come shang wait for me wor.. =) he stil pagak with another fren sayin tat he was at orchard train station waiting for me.. when i came down.. THERE HE IS!!! waitin for me at loading bay.. OMG!!! tat was reali a surprise!! he bought me a necklace tat i've been wanting.. but didnt wanto buy.. cuz its actually quite expensive.. and he bought it!! juz the colour tat i like!!!! he nv told me anything bout it oso.. juz suddenly thought of buyin den go buy.. thks my darlink!! i love the necklace so so so muchie..=D goin visitin with his families on hari raya.. with my baju kurong white and his baju oso white.. =) cuz he actually told me tat he alwaz wear civilian to visiting.. tis yr he wearing his baju kurong.. =P oh ya.. and on his bday actual day.. i pagak with his mummy to surprise him with a cookie and cream cake wor.. =P he was super happy.. tee hee hee..=) we seems to think e same.. alot of times when we wanted to say something.. its e same as e other party is thinkin about.. oso dun knoe y.. mayb cuz we reali meant for each other?? =) P.S. I LOVE YOU MY BAYBEEEE!!!!!!!! for as long as i live..

11th day tgt

2007-09-27T03:28:00.000+08:00

its been 11days together with him le.. but the both of us feels as if we have been together for a long long while.. mayb cuz its tat we knoe each other for long?? today aft finish work mit baybeee at orchard with jolynn and doug.. went for dinner at bugis den head to geylang serai.. he asked me to go visiting with him n his families on hari raya.. den goin to celebrate his bday with his family oso.. =P the feelin of being with his is so so so diff.. dun knoe how to explain.. but im alrdy scare of losing him.. he stayin in frm next week onwards.. book out onli on fri..>.< so onli got weekends for me.. but very often would have nights out too.. =P anyways.. as for all my frenz.. sorry for not organising anything tis holidays.. cuz i've been damn busy with work.. next time okie??

HappyDay!!!!

2007-09-17T01:26:00.000+08:00

OMFG!!!! didnt expect myself to step into a relationship so fast!!!! YESYESYES!!!! juz say yes to tat IMPT qns!!!! didnt knoe if it would last.. but i wanna try.. as least with him.. i've rejected those guys tis passed 7mths.. single is great..but havin a company who knoes u well is even better.. hope we have e chance to get to knoe each other better and slowly.. =) 170907---TheDay..=D

goin jb tmr...=P

2007-09-16T03:09:00.000+08:00

tis few days been workin.. didnt reali have much time for myself.. but anyways.. tmr goin jb with chel2, ah chua and hilman.. HAPPY!!! finally have a outing to go eat n shoppin.. reali shoppin tis time round.. =D anyways.. recently..i found out tat i actually lyk a guy.. i wouldnt name who it is.. i dun knoe y i would suddenly fall for him u see.. as i haven see myself as ready to start a relationship yet... tis time round.. i reali dun knoe wat happened.. im alwaz lookin for the one who can make me fall and reali take things slow.. cuz i find no point in rushing into a relationship and ended up hurtin more.. he nv ask anymore aft tat time.. but it seems diff nw.. nw im waitin for him to ask.. i dun knoe y.. ARGHHHH!!!! dun knoe la.. dun wanna think so much.. juz wanna enjoy myself tmr.. =D nitez all=)

holidays

2007-09-08T02:52:00.000+08:00

super long nv blog le.. guess its about 2weeks?? damn late nw.. guess i juz blog den go slp.. =P anyway..had a new job workin as a florist nw.. although the schedule per week is onli 1-2 days.. but i can reali learn alot of new things.. workin at shang oso.. to earn a tit bit more.. =P anyway..haven make any plans for tis holidays.. didnt get to organize any outings.. >.< gotta start organizin le wor.. but scare tat not much ppl would be free u see.. =( tis come fri which is e 14sept is huiyun's bday.. she say she wanna go club on sat.. save money!!!!=( anyways.. gotta go.. nitez readers!!!! =)

ARGHH!!

2007-08-21T22:28:00.000+08:00

quite a period of time nv blog le.. last sat which is e 18 Aug 2007.. went to shang d&d.. reali enjoyed myself with all of them around.. after tat went to watch 'secret' with michy, joanne, joanna, zh, hilman and doug.. although was damn tired.. but stil.. misses e days in shang lo.. but nw alot of things changed.. so its difficult for me to adapt bac to e life.. but well well.. lets juz wait and see ba.. =P tmr emd paper le.. damn stress.. but i dun knoe y im wasting the 5-10mins bloggin.. mayb juz wanto note down smth before i forgotten..=P tats a way of my life.. i wanto note down things before i forgot.. so tat i can rmb how im feelin at tis point of time.. went to watch e fire works at marina floating platform last week with weicheng.. it was damn nice la.. seeing it is lyk "WOW!" i gotta cont with my drillin all e formulas into my brain alrdy.. update u guys more aft my exams finish.. =D

1more week

2007-08-13T22:28:00.000+08:00

im lyk doin some counting down to the exams.. feelin damn stressed up tis few days.. studyin EVERYDAY! OMG!! i nv expect myself to be so hardworkin in poly.. and its wat i've nv done in sec sch.. mayb its bcuz of the exx sch fees..=P anyway.. been tryin to get myself ready for the comin exams.. work have been more n more tedious.. alwaz workin midnight alone.. stil rmb tat sat mornin..juliana come in op at t2.. nv reali talk..she keep doin things.. den after tat ask me..wat we do for midnight.. i told her the things tat we usually do.. which includes throwin rubbish, go store, doin preps, cleanin up.. den she replied..these onli arh.. damn pissed off.. she think its veri easy doing all this things alone.. if its lyk last time 2person doin midnight.. i stil dun mind her sayin tis.. but nw its one person. DAMN! getting emo again tis few days.. mayb cuz of the stress about the exams ba.. haiz.. hope it'll get better.. _ImLivinMyLifeForMyself_ cheers

2WEEKS!!!

2007-08-05T23:57:00.000+08:00

a week pass.. and nw im left with 2more weeks to exams.. started with emd de revision le.. but ecam de totally haven touch..>.< die.. dun even tink haf enough time to do all e revisions.. sianz.. e period whereby we r preparin for exams is damn no life.. onli study study study.. will die arh.. anyways.. been livin my life well.. no more emo-ing.. tee hee hee.. didnt mit edwin today.. he oso nv cor me aft work.. but its okie.. cuz i knoe tat he oso haven his own things goin on.. mit up when we're free ba..=) den recently got on quite well with a guy.. i dun knoe how i feel.. but its lyk.. a phobia to get into a relationship.. not avoidin anymore.. will face everything straight.. no point avoidin.. mayb its a phobia.. but i oso feel tat i dun wanna get into a relationship yet.. dun knoe why.. mayb cuz juz managin my schwork..work..and frenz.. im alrdy left with no time for my dearest family.. and oso bcuz i haven enjoyed my life enough yet.. life is short.. so i wanna make full use of all the time.. but will i miss e one who is right for me?? tis i dun knoe.. well well.. no point thinkin so much isnt it.. let everything go on.. when i found out wat i reali wanted den say ba.. =) gotta cont with my revision le.. nitez all.. =D

EXAMS!!!

2007-07-30T01:10:00.001+08:00

left with around 3more weeks to exams le.. gotta start studyin startin frm tmr.. damn sianz.. but no choice.. cuz i doesnt wans to b e one being left behind tis sem..=P anyways.. tis week damn busy.. thurs went to andrea's and quan's ec.. fri went to edwin's family chalet.. sat went to kay's birthday bbq.. sun went to sing with frenz.. actually wanto start tis week.. but cuz too much things goin on.. so hafta postpone..>.< but well well.. i guess i gotta work harder and everything would be fine.. =) ytd at e bbq chatted alot with junda and jianlun.. got to knoe wats goin on with their life when we were too busy to mit up.. life's damn busy.. nw i started to ponder.. y is there onli 24hrs in a day.. its seems so long..but yet so short.. it isnt enough to finish things tat we wanto.. and everyone not onli haf one commitment.. but well.. tats life isnt it..>.< gotta go to bed alrdy.. tmr stil hafta make it for e 9am lecture.. nitez reader~

2more weeks to exams..

2007-07-23T00:28:00.001+08:00

damn long nv update my blog le!!! anyways.. im here!!!=) been damn busy tis week.. totally not enough slp.. but comin week oso busy.. exams damn near le.. stil dun catch a thing e lecturer says.. butbutbut i tink tat do pass year paper will be enough le bah..=P tis few weeks no more emo le.. gone through tat depression period liao.. tee hee hee.. but one thing too bad is tat.. im havin sore throat and cough.. damn lots of phlegm.. ARGHH!!!!!!! ytd went to a pub at carpenter street with my sister!! real sister! e one slpin in my room!!! surprise huh.. but well.. ITS DAMN FUN LUHH!!!=D wants to intro it to my frenz.. cuz its a decent pub.. no hanky panky inside.. juz to sing n to drink..chit chat talk cok.. well well.. a great experience!!! =) will wanto go out more often with them luhh.. super crappy.. and e ppl ther oso damn friendly.. mayb cuz my sister is a regular.. but they oso friendly to me wor.. =D den today mit edwin joel n kay.. told them bout tis.. they ask me how much they pay me to do tis advertising.. but NO LO!! its diff frm those pub i've been to.. tats y i wanna intro it to them.. anyways.. goin slp le.. gd nitezz!!!! =D [[im a happy person]]

4More Weeks to Exams

2007-07-12T18:48:00.000+08:00

exams nearing.. i've been livin in my own world.. not caring about whether i would flunk my exams anot.. i reali wanted to work hard.. but everytime the lecturer started talkin i'll fall aslp automatically.. i totally dun understand wat the lecturer is talkin about.. y is my life in a mess?? n i cant seems to do anything.. sometimes i juz find tat life sucks.. even though i have a veru gd bunch of frenz around me.. but they have their partners around them.. i feel tat im e onli one left.. tat extreme kind of feelin.. i reali dun understand.. one by one.. they got their partners.. when would it be my chance?? when would my right one come out?? work.. school.. studies.. friends.. outings.. all this is making me tired inside out.. i tot of leavin it as it is.. cuz all of the organising things is verit tiring.. but who would take over?? if i dun continue.. would tis clique stil b tgt?? i dun knoe.. at least i knoe tat they r reali great friends.. i didnt wanto lose any of them.. i rather be tired inside out den to lose them.. i've been lyk a person givin advices and all tis shit recently.. im gd at givin advice.. gd at consolin ppl.. but i cant possibly do tat to myself alrite?? i reali dun understand wat is happening to me.. im feelin so emotionally drained.. damn depress.. damn emo.. all of a sudden.. i hate myself for spoiling the mood around sometimes.. cuz i suddenly bcomes so damn emo tat evryone notices.. [JuzWannaLeadABetterLife] [[ImLivinForMyself]]

outing!!!

2007-07-09T02:14:00.000+08:00

today had a reali big outing.. with junda, andrea, joel, kay, huiyun, ben, hongyun & gavin.. reali did enjoy myself.. especially the singin session.. ben n yun nw together le.. i dun knoe if im doin the right thing bringin them together.. im afraid either one of them would get hurt in e process.. but yun broke off with her 2yr bf.. cuz she lyk ben.. n ben lyk her.. isnt it the most impt thing to decide whether to go into relationship anot?? i rmb some one tellin me.. if u use time n how much u knoe tat person to measure how much u love him/her.. den its not true love anymore.. i understand tat a certain amount of gettin to knoe each other is a must.. but to knoe whether both party r suitable anot.. they hafta try it out.. cuz even if 2person knoe each other for a long long time.. its a diff thing in a relationship.. ppl can get together for a long long time.. but in e end.. broke off cuz they find tat they're not suitable anymore.. y?? cuz ppl change over time.. m i doin the right thing?? almost everyone is wondering whether they would last anot.. im not sayin all this to demoralise anyone.. and no offence please.. but i seriously wishes them the best.. feelin damn emo recently.. i dun understand y.. some times i may look happy cheerful on the outside.. but who reali understand me inside.. well..may i guess its no one?? no one at all.. joel says my blog entry all veri emo one.. but i feel tat its onli the more recent one veri emo ba.. cuz i've been thinkin bout alot alot of things.. well well.. dun wanna thinkin so much at this point of time.. juz wanna take one step count one step.. cuz i knoe thinkin so much wouldnt help.. =) HERE BY WISHIN ALL THE COUPLES AROUND YOU QING REN ZHONG CHEN JUAN SHU!!!!! BEST WISHES!!!!!!! [TreasureTheOneAroundYou] [DunEverDoThingsThatYouWouldRegret] ImLostInMyOwnWorld [Drowning] P.S. who can help me up..

MySelf

2007-07-07T23:06:00.000+08:00

Been thinkin about alot recently.. feelin depress..lonely.. mayb cuz of seeing ppl around me all in pairs.. i wish them well..wish them luck. but cant help feelin lonely.. wat do i wan exactly?? i dun knoe..totally no clue.. i wouldnt ask stupid qns lyk who can help me.. cuz i knoe onli i myself can help me.. y m i livin so miserable.. y do i have such negative feelin when im leadin such a gd life tat ppl envy.. cuz most of my besties have their own things to b busy about.. be it relationship, attachment, projects or school.. i dun knoe wat i can do.. enjoyin life throughout?? i knoe i cant do tat.. poly is gettin more n more stress.. but me?? im livin out of the stress level.. lyk it wasnt my business.. when did i bcome someone lyk tat.. its reali time tat i nid to reflect on myself, my behaviour and my attitude towards my life.. ITS LOOKIN LYK A MESS!!!!!!!! TOTALLY MESS UP LIFESTYLE!!!!!!! i hated myself.. i reali do.. some times i dun even understand y do i even exist.. tis fast movin society doesnt suits me.. if life is juz bout stressin up for money, for qualifications, for schools.. den i feel tat its reali meaningless.. some ppl may love studyin.. but its note piece of cake for me.. some ppl dun hafta study oso cant get reali gd results.. but its not me.. y?? y does some ppl suffer e moment they're born?? y does some ppl enjoy life till e day they're out into the society? y some ppl can depends on their family for all the supports?? y some ppl cant even get a little encouragement frm their family?? im workin so hard so tat i wouldnt b a burden for them.. since young..i've been train to be independent.. been train to do my own things myself.. and i adapted veri well.. they doesnt even hafta worry for me.. so eventually.. no one cares.. no one cares whether i would study for my exams anot..cuz they knoe i would.. no one cares whether i did my hmwk anot..cuz they knoe i would.. when i stays at home..they nv say anything.. when i went out..they would voice tat i went out everyday.. WATS THIS?? did they ever appreciate wat im tryin to do?? since sec3..i've stop takin allowance.. depends solely on my own earnin.. studyin n workin isnt easy.. its damn tedious.. but did they care whether im tired anot?? sometimes cuz of exams period didnt work much n had to request for allowance and they would nag.. tis makes me reali sick.. if u cant or dun wanto support me.. den y on earth did u give birth to me.. i dun knoe.. there's alot of whys in my mind.. but no one can give me e answers.. ImLostInMyOwnWorld [Drowning] P.S. i juz nid a hand..

ferst week of sch..

2007-06-28T17:27:00.001+08:00

sch begin for a week le.. super sianz..stil in holiday mood.. find tat the class nw more united le.. more fun..and e 2 ms ong in e class is joel's consultant..=P recently thinkin bout alot of things.. after my last relationship.. i developed a veri strange sytoms(<---izit being spelled lyk tat) which is..any person tat told me he lyk me.. i would start to avoid them.. i knoe tis is being ridiculous.. but b4 they told me anything..we could stil talk.. y is this happenin to me?? i reali dun understand.. when tis starts to happened.. i was so stress up.. i've been thinkin izit bcuz of the pain tat i've been through tats y of my reaction.. when can tis go away?? =(

last day of holiday

2007-06-25T01:52:00.000+08:00

actually i cant say tat its e last day of holiday.. cuz as i blog im onli left with lyk.. 10hrs b4 i nid to get bac to sch.. anyway.. did enjoy myself today.. met a fren to have lunch and chit chat met another bunch of frenz to go party world in e evening.. hee.. i tink i started to lyk him le.. but.. im scare.. scare tat im not able to settle down.. scare to be hurt deeply again.. scare tat it would not last again.. scare of the empty promises.. scare tatwe cant even be frenz if everything reali ends.. if u ask me y would i be afraid of all tis rubbish.. mayb is cuz i've been hurt too deeply in e previous relationship.. tats y of all my doubts.. i've learnt to trust tat time.. slowly bit by bit.. but in e end.. he betrayed my trust.. he himself even doubt me.. if tats how it should b.. den y expect me to trust u in e ferst place.. i reali dun understand.. i can give reali gd advice but it doesnt work on myself.. mayb cuz i've seen tat life is alwaz unpredictable.. mayb cuz everytime once i've been livin great..it doesnt last.. im not hopin for too much am i?? i juz wan some one to let me lean on when im gonna collapse. someone to hold on to when im sinkin.. someone to sit bside me when im down.. someone who understands me well enough.. juz tat special someone.. cuz sometimes.. u would feel tat friends arent enough.. eventhough its ur best friends.. eventhough they understand u more den ur mummy would.. anyway.. lets hope tat everything would be well.. i dun wanna tink so much.. juz wanna be happy.. =D [[NwI'veLearntThat]] [[iLiveForMyself]]

HolidayEndin

2007-06-22T18:30:00.001+08:00

holidays endin le.. sch restartin in another 2days.. thinkin bout it.. tis holiday pass damn fast.. anyway.. ytd juz haf a gatherin with poly frenz.. a bbq at east coast.. its fun alrite!!!! up till nw.. den i realise tat to enjoy poly life.. one reali hafta put in effort to maintain the frienship in class.. well well.. i tink......they did enjoy too..=D and tues.. went to sentosa with sec4 de classmates.. its fun too..=) cuz last time when im in sec sch.. i didnt reali mix tat well with them.. partly cuz i got work.. and another big part is tat i mix with my frenz out of sch.. nw den i realise tat they are much much more fun den anything.. reali regret not puttin my times in sec sch to gd use.. but well.. i will start to do that nw.. dun wanna regret anything more.. ytd chatted alot through the nite with edwin at the bbq.. he said he alwaz tot of something bac den.. i understand that.. but how many ppl can reali haf the things tat they wanted.. and how many ppl would treasure they things tat they haf at the moment.. been thinkin bout alot of things lately.. feelin lonely. mayb cuz alwaz seein ppl in pairs.. been thinkin bout when i can find the person for me.. and oso thinkin bout am i able to settle down nw.. well.. dun wanna think bout so much.. juz wanna live my life the way it is.. been enjoyin=D signin off `` [michelle]loves P.S. I LOVE MY LIFE NW!!!!!!!

its a new account!!!!

2007-06-16T02:17:00.000+08:00

tee hee hee.. ferst blog!!!! anyway.. life recently for me is damn gd.. havin holidays nw.. been enjoyin myself alot alot.. our class have nv been so fun.. outings..goin out together and anything possible.. or mayb is last time nv work so hard bout it.. been thinkin tat mayb for nw.. single is e best status for me.. cuz stil wanto enjoy life.. dun reali wanna get tied down.. juz turn 18 few mths ago.. enjoyin e priviledges.. =D i reali wanna thks my frenz who alwaz stand by me when im at my lowest!!!! thks guys.. =)